Jack Palazzo

Despite finding the whole thing slightly gimmicky and unnecessary in today’s climate I always enjoy Indigenous Round. For whatever reason the Aboriginal boys tend to lift for the occasion and we have seen the Tigs and the Dons put on a good show at the Dreamtime game. The recognition of Nicky Winmar’s powerful stance at Victoria park twenty years ago has been lovely and appropriate so I commend the AFL on a good job.

In the wake of such a powerful anti-racism image I am distressed to hear strange rumblings related to Majak Daw. The reverse racism associated with the idea that Majak’s achievement is heightened due to his racial background makes me sick. Hearing people say no one would care if he were white is a terrible notion. His achievements to date are receiving plenty of press for many reasons, he is the first Sudanese footballer, he has a rippling six-pack, he is good looking, he jumps higher than Nic Nat and he is kicking goals! What’s not to love? Oh and I don’t know what he is smuggling in his speedos, but it is a fair bit bigger than a budgee. I am Majak fan numero uno, get around the Sudanese sensation.

Lastly, Ian Robson, the former Essendon CEO has finally resigned. This needed to happen and I’m glad it did, the sooner Essendon clean the mess up the sooner we can all move along. However I am curious what will become of Hird and Thompson – time will tell I guess.

Friday 

Collingwood vs Sydney MCG 7.50pm

No doubt this is the match of the round. Plenty on the line for both sides this week. A win for Collingwood will propel them back into the top four race whilst Sydney are in danger of falling into the chasing pack. The Swans could not stand the heat against the Hawks and the Pies are likely to bring a similar high-pressure precision style of footy, despite the absence of Shaw and Thomas. No major absentees for the Swans and they should make life hard for the Pies, however the re-introduction of Luke Ball to Collingwood’s midfield has added much needed grunt and accountability. The midfield battle will be intriguing, Swan and Pendles vs Hannebury and Bird, all in top form at the moment. However I think the game will be decided by the bookends, Reid vs Goodes and Cloke vs Richards, whichever forward makes his presence felt will have a massive influence on the outcome of this one. I think on the wide open spaces of the G, the pies won’t be beat, Collingwood by 12 points.

Saturday

Port Adelaide vs Geelong AS 1.15pm

The returning Steve Johnson is a massive in for the Cats. His influence on their midfield and the spark he provides resting forward is still underrated by the general public I think. Chapman is still missing but the Cats simply have too many weapons for the Power who this week are being disrupted by five changes including former captain Cassisi. It won’t be as easy as many pundits are suggesting and I am tempted to make Port with a 50 point head start my safe bet this week. In any case Cats by 24 points.

GWS vs West Coast SK 2.10pm

West Coast are handing out breaks to all of Schofield, Wellingham, Waters and Selwood this week. Won’t make a difference though. Eagles by 55 points.

St Kilda vs Western Bulldogs ES 4.40pm

The blowtorch was finally applied to Dogs Coach Brendan Mccartney this week. He has won one of the last 19 matches. This deplorable record need to change, the old “we know we’re progressing” line must be growing very old for success starved Dogs supporters. The Saints were competitive for a half against a rejuvenated Crows outfit before being blown away however this week they regain Lenny Hayes – what a man – and will surely have enough quality to overcome the most irrelevant side in footy.

Brisbane vs Carlton G 7.40pm

Merret and Clarke’s absence is the consequence for roughing up the Dons. Whilst the Blues welcome back much maligned midfielder Bryce Gibbs. The Blues cruised to a three goal win last week whilst Brisbane put in their best performance for years, toppling ladder leaders Essendon in a massive boilover. I think that effort will have taken plenty out of them and the Blues will be too strong even at the Gabbatoir, they are slowly putting the pieces together and simply need to win these games if they are to feature in September. Blues by 14 points.

Richmond vs Essendon MCG 7.45pm

Maric and Newman are significant ins for the Tigers whilst Dempsey is back from his club imposed suspension for being a dickhead. Very much a coin toss this match. I don’t think the Tigers have the ability to win matches even though we are dangerously close to the stage of the season where the Bombers wheels fall off. Choosing between two basket cases is difficult at the best of times. I’m going with Essendon simply because I think Carlisle will teach Riewoldt a lesson, whilst the Tigers can’t cover all of Crameri, Hurley and Ryder. Dons by 4 points.

Sunday

Hawthorn vs Gold Coast MCG 1.10pm

No side with O’meara and Ablett in it will be disgraced. But – Hawthorn. Hawks by 45 points.

Fremantle vs Melbourne PS 2.40pm

Each week I have the feeling Melbourne are playing to avoid a Tuesday shot gun press conference. This one could get ugly, Freo need the percentage. Dockers by 75 points.

North Melbourne vs Adelaide ES 3.20pm

Unfortunately we have to wait until three to see a decent game on Sunday however I’m expecting a classic. Both sides are slowly moving in the direction after slow starts to the season and both have points to prove. North have been the best performing side outside the eight whilst the Crows turned head with their demolition of the Saints. No major changes for either side who are both close to full strength. Genuinely tough one to pick, simply based on the location and the fact that if Majak squeezed my head between his pecs he’d make it explode, North by 13 points.

Jack Palazzo

Finally, the obituary for the bump has been written. It is simply too risky to knock players off the ball. Even one of the shortest players in the AFL, Eddie Betts, can’t help but take out a player’s head. So now, he misses four weeks for unintentionally making contact with someone’s head. Yep, four weeks, yep, he didn’t mean to do it and yep, it was close to the ball. Anyone remember Lindsay Thomas? Oh that’s right, he purposely changed direction, off the ball, in order to take out Reid and leave him on the sidelines for weeks. He should’ve been banned for at least five I hear you say, well, he copped three. Oh, and remember Justin Koschitzke, who, off the ball, stuck his elbow out and collected a player in the face, do I hear bids of six and seven? Well, he copped two. I’m confused, the players are confused, the coaches are confused and footy is becoming difficult to watch at times.

Knock on the match review panel over, now I’m going after the rules of the game committee. It is not the umpire’s fault that our game is so badly over officiated, they are pawns. The free kicks that are paid when (Geelong) players drive their heads into the hands or bodies of others is becoming a joke. The ‘too high’ rule is in place to stop players having their heads ripped off, not to prevent light knocks and touches, it’s becoming basketball, and no one wants that. Furthermore, marking and ruck contests have always been, and should continue to be contests of strength. Now, thanks to the Naitanui rule, they are jumping matches. Defenders simply have no chance unless they stage free kicks. It’s amazing how much ‘AFL people’ criticise Soccer, yet the worst part of that game, simulation, is being encouraged by the rules and officiating in the AFL.

Let’s hope, amidst all the confusion we can see some decent footy this weekend, however, it’s shaping up to be another easing tipping week.

Friday

West Coast vs North Melbourne PS 8.40pm

Kerr, Selwodd, Masten, Waters back in and Naitanui in his second game. This is the look of the premiership fancied Eagles. They are putting their strongest side of the year out on their home turf on the big Friday night stage. North will hope Brent Harvey continues from his fantastic start and will be praying Swallow is fit enough to contribute. I don’t think Majak Daw can equal his efforts from last week if he has to play on Glass or Waters whilst Petrie has been quite disappointing so far this year. West Coast are slowly finding their feet and it’s a long way to come back from for the loser of this game who will be 3-5. Both sides seasons are delicately poised, it is very much a final in May and I think the Eagles will be too strong. Eagles by 19 points.

Saturday

Essendon vs Brisbane ES 1.45pm

Essendon crashed back down to Earth due to a footy less from the Cats. Brisbane simply do not know how to win, even in front of their own fans as they let a golden opportunity slip against the Weagles. Essendon welcome back Stanton and Ryder whilst Simon Black is sure to play a full game for the Lions. Too much is still left to Rockliff and Brown however and they will not be able to compete against a side keen to cement themselves in the top four. Dons by 55 points.

Hawthorn vs GWS AU 2.10pm

Hawthorn love it down in Tassie. They only difficult decision here is working out how our Supercoach sides will be affected – who will they rest? Hawks  by 85 points.

Gold Coast vs Western Bulldogs MS 4.40pm

A couple of good ins for the Dogs certainly lends weight to the idea they can start to climb the ladder. Brett Goodes has been a revelation whilst Koby Stevens is certainly handy. Tom ‘the tackling machine’ Liberatore provides the grunt whilst Coonery seems to be heading towards career best form. However, whilst their midfield is strong, with big Minson consistently providing the engine room with first use, the Dogs are consistently exposed at either end of the ground. They rely too heavily on Murphy to be everywhere, Grant and Jones have not developed and to be honest, I couldn’t tell you who plays in their backline. The Suns are hot (haha, see what I did there). Gazza, Bennel and the rest of the young brigade a re dominating, Rischitelli can’t even find a way into the side. On their home patch I’m expecting the Suns to be too strong, with Dixon to kick five. Suns by 12 points.

Collingwood vs Geelong MCG 7.40pm

Greatly anticipated clash between two of the best sides of the last five years. Initially I thought it was going to be a close one but the outs for Collingwood are far too significant. Thomas, Shaw and Clarke all not playing, whilst Ball’s inclusion helps, it is not enough to drag the Pies over the line. Especially as Hunt and Corey return for the Cats who continue to move from strength to strength. Cats by 23 points.

Sydney vs Fremantle SCG 7.40pm

The big men are back for both sides this week with the inclusions of Mumford and Clarke. Fremantle will be welcoming the return of Fyfe with open arms however on the smaller ground their outsiders runners will be curtailed. Sydney simply play the ground better than anyone else – as they should mind you. Swans by 25 points.

Sunday

Carlton vs Port Adelaide ES 1.10pm

Having cost the Blues the game by being suspended for being a dickhead, Waite is back this week and the misfiring Carlton forward line will welcome him with open arms. Betts and Yarran miss whilst Jamison should have recovered throughout the week to the point where he will be able to lift his arm. No major changes for the Power who are continuing their steady decline down the ladder. I don’t think they will be able to run with the Carlton midfield and I’m expecting Marc Murphy to have a breakout match and win the battle with Boak. Blues by 36 points.

Richmond vs Melbourne MCG 3.20pm

Much needed bye for the Tigers. Tiges by 80 points.

Adelaide vs St. Kilda AS 4.40pm

Both sides relatively unchanged for this crucial clash. Its interesting how given that they would both have finals aspirations, both sides would consider this game one they should be winning. The Saints will have newfound belief after upsetting the Blues last week whilst the Crows would have been smiling all week following their demolition in the Suns. They ,may have found one, in forward Lynch who bagged 10. On familiar dirt I think the Crows midfield guns will hit top form, expect Dangerfield and Sloane to dominate, whilst Thompson does the hard stuff. Crows by 15 points.

Jack Palazzo

Last week highlighted the quality gap in footy at the moment. It really was an incredible week of contenders vs pretenders. Who else picked nine? Oh yeah, everyone. Very little to talk about really, Port were found out by North who had been luckless until that point. Richmond’s reality check continues having now lost three in a row and are sitting . . . haha . . . ninth. The Essendon seconds overcame GWS despite being down at half time and Adelaide reminded everyone why they were a preliminary finalist for two quarters, then they reminded everyone that they were only there because of their draw.

Much was meant to be revealed with regards to the doping scandal this week however it was not to be the case. Hird has admitted that the report was tough to read yet the public are none the wiser. Whilst the push during a marking contest rule sunk to new lows. Anyone see the Scott Thompson decision? Not only was it not in the back but newborn puppies could push harder than that. The AFL and Jeff Gieschen have defended the rule while continuing to proclaim that they aren’t killing physicality – I’m lost.

At least we can look forward to a round filled with important, mouth watering games.

Friday

Geelong vs Essendon ES 7.50

I know the ground has a contract, but why oh why is this top of the table blockbuster between two undefeated sides at Docklands! They will pack it out instead of attracting 75,000+ to the G. Massive shame, anyway, both of these sides are in great form. Geelong however seem to have harder a more difficult start having overcome Hawthorn, Sydney and North along the way. I think its fair to say that the only side of note that Essendon have beaten is Collingwood. In any case Essendon are expecting the returns of Hurley, Heppel, Ryder, Winderlich and Fletcher. Not sure how they will go first start but it will certainly boost the bombers. However I think the uncertainty around the form of the inclusions couple with Geelong’s remarkable beginning to the season means Cats by 11 points.

Saturday

Port Adelaide vs Richmond AS 1.15pm

Richmond have travelled to Adelaide well in the past winning three of their last four. With that irrelevant fact in mind, this is still a very difficult one to call and I’ve changed my tip twice this week. Richmond will be smarting after three losses in a row and will not want the ledger to read negative. Port Adelaide are going to begin to be found out against the better sides and show that they aren’t quite up to it yet. I think they will slide down the ladder and out of the eight by season’s end. Tigs by 24 points.

Brisbane vs West Coast G 2.30pm

West Coast look like they are back in town after they pulled the dogs’ pants down last week. Whilst Brisbane were humbled by the Swans. I think that pretty says it all about where these teams are headed. Eagles by 45 points.

Western Bulldogs vs North Melbourne ES 4.40pm

Another chance for North to climb the ladder and for my Brownlow smoky, Andrew Swallow, to start racking up the votes. The Bulldogs are, once again, irrelevant. There is nothing to smile about and they should offload all of cross Cooney and Boyd at season’s end so they can bring in some seriously good young talent for the future. Also, Boomer Harvey is back in town, North by 38 points.

Hawthorn vs Sydney MCG 7.40pm

The last of three blockbusters. Hawthorn have been in sparkling form, dispatching all who have come before them since their loss to Geelong in round one. The big Saturday night stage is the perfect opportunity for Franklin to return to form after two goal-less weeks. His importance is amplified with the absence of the enigmatic Cyril Rioli this week. Sydney have a full bill of health but have not managed to hit their straps yet this season. Reid and Jetta both ran into some much needed form last week although I reckon even Koschitzke could be played into form against Brisbane. I think the Hawks will exact some revenge for last years heart break with Sydney still looking slightly under done for me. Hawks by 8 points.

Fremantle vs Collingwood PS 5.40pm

Fremantle have been decimated by injuries – again. They struggled to overcome the Gold Coast and with so many stars still out I simply can’t see them matching Collingwood who have regained Ball and Thomas’ mojo in the last week. No Pav no Bradley means the Dockers have nothing to kick to. The Collingwood half backs like Heath Shaw are going to dominate. Pies by 27 points.

Sunday

GWS vs Adelaide SK 1.10pm

Good thinking from the AFL. This Sunday is mother’s day so fixture two games that no one would have watched anyway. They struggle with the rules of the game but if they have half a chance to squeeze a penny out of the fixture, there’s no better going around. Oh yeah – Crows by 54 points.

Melbourne vs Gold Coast MCG 4.40pm

No Trengove and no Grimes is going to make it difficult for the dees. Only location is making me lean towards Melbourne. Perhaps coupled with the fact that unbelievably I think the dees’ worst six are better than the sun’s – for now. Dees by 4 points.

Monday

St. Kilda vs Carlton ES 7.40pm

Carlton are never a guarantee at Docklands however I can’t see them losing this one. The Blues seem to be clicking into gear under Mick and despite losing the dumbest player in footy for two weeks – Jarrad Waite you owe Carlton the rest of this season – I think Carlton will be far too quick for the ageing St. Kilda midfield. Dal Santo clearly doesn’t care anymore whilst Hayes takes all tackling pressure with him to the sideline. Blues by 35 points.

Jack Palazzo

It really is not like me to take pot shots at the umpires, however I was disgusted with their effort at the G at the end of the third quarter. Essendon were slightly in front but the game was certainly in the balance then two of the softest, most ridiculous free kicks gifted Essendon two goals and the momentum to run away with the game. I do not mean to take credit away from the Bombers who played extraordinarily well, but I can’t help but feel Collingwood has some reason to feel slightly short changed.

Sydney and St. Kilda put on a fantastic spectacle for the Kiwis. I was surprised with the Saints’ ability to stay in the contest, however class shone through in the end. Hannebury is criminally underrated and earned himself a well-deserved ANZAC medal.

I also do not normally support Eddie Maguire’s media ranting and raving, even though I believe he is an outstanding president, but his criticism of Caroline Wilson’s journalistic integrity was called for. Her standards are slipping and some of her pieces this year have been borderline ludicrous. Baseless claims with little or no regard for due diligence has severely affected her once sterling reputation. The continual harassment of Dane Swan and the hate campaign against North Melbourne were the last straws.

Friday

Fremantle vs Richmond PS 6.45pm

Fremantle at $1.55 seems like an absolute steal to me. The Tigers continue to be overrated by the bookies, so take advantage. They will not be able to match it with a sore Fremantle in the West. Freo on the other hand, desperately need to win this game to put their year back on track. Back to back losses, albeit to quality sides, has dented their campaign. They should be able to blunt the Tigers’ strength, their midfield, with their own stellar on ball brigade and I’m expecting Pavlich to finally hit form this week upon his return. Dockers by 24 points.

Saturday

Greater Western Sydney vs Gold Coast MO 1.45pm

Here we have a devastatingly dour demonstration of dismal footy. If you can’t find anything better to do on a Saturday afternoon than watch these flogs pretend to be AFL standard, you really need a hobby. It’s anyone’s game really, very much a case of who will be less shit. I’m going to say Gold Coast by 4 points because they seem to have shown a bit more this year.

Carlton vs Adelaide MCG 4.40pm

Rather important game for both clubs this one. If the Blues drop this very winnable game, they will be back to square one. The Crows may have kick-started their campaign with their demolition of the Bulldogs, however they haven’t fired against credible opposition yet. The Blues can’t be considered credible as such, but it would be a start, particularly at the G where historically Carlton play very well. The return of Eddie Betts will make a big difference to a very suspect Carlton forward line. I think the Blues pace on the wide open spaces will be too much for the Crows Blues by 19 points.

Western Bulldogs vs Geelong ES 7.40pm

This one is going to be ugly. The Cats are amazing and the Dogs are pathetic. Cats by 60 points.

Port Adelaide vs West Coast AS 7.15pm

This is an intriguing match up. Port Adelaide are unbelievably undefeated thus far and playing some decent footy, despite not beating any side of note other than their cross town rivals. The Eagles however are languishing at 1-3 and are slowly losing the chance to make the top four. On paper it’s a no brainer. However the Port names on paper seem to be playing much better on the park and vice versa for the Eagles. Having said that, the Eagles’ forwards will monster the young Port defenders and will ensure the Eagles jump back on the rails. Eagles by 12 points.

Brisbane vs Melbourne G 3.20pm

Brisbane at home are a lock, and this will be my safe bet this week at $1.15. Melbourne are terrible. I do not think their 12 goal last quarter last week represents any great change in fortune or momentum, they simply beat up on a young and tired opponent. Brisbane will hammer them into the ground, particularly with Brown finding form in the last coupe of weeks. Lions by 34 points.

Hawthorn vs North Melbourne MCG 4.40pm

Here we have the match of the round at twilight on Sunday. Hawthorn at the moment are an irresistible force, and North Melbourne seemed to kick into gear as they demolished the Lions last week. They are a talented side that can challenge anyone on their day, but their young midfield are incredibly inconsistent, if they can front up two weeks in a row we could be in a for an absolute cracker. Expect Goldstein to dominate the ruck so the Roos have the keys to the midfield battle. Their undersized backline will struggle though with all of Hale, Roughead and especially Franklin. This won’t be the blowout everyone expects. Hawks by 9 points.

Image Credit: www.sunshinecoastdaily.com.au, www.theage.com.au

Jack Palazzo

Reports of overflowing and broken down bandwagons around the Punt rd area are becoming out of control.  The police have released a statement that if the Tigers beat the Pies this week then Melbourne’s population of bandwagon jumpers will skyrocket to a level not seen since Sheedy played in a back pocket. Richmond has won three games against sides that all finished outside of the eight and are declaring themselves premiership favourites. Imagine if they beat a credible team this week, I reckon they may fancy themselves in the federal election as well.

Hirdy is under investigation yet still coaching. Credible? I’m not sure, I think whilst this kind of major investigation is under way, the man ultimately responsible for jabbing nineteen year olds should temporarily step away. We also learnt that Melbourne, yes you heard right, Melbourne, have also been using peptides on their players. Now, I’m certainly no scientific expert on the matter, but based on the two clubs using peptides, they must be incredibly overrated, or the Demons were attempting to find a ‘tanking enhancing drug.’

Demetriou, faster than usual this time, disappointed every football supporter in the world. “State of origin has no place in football”. What? Everybody would like to see classic Victoria vs South Australia clashes again; everyone would like to revive the state rivalries of the eighties and nineties. Why is this man still speaking for every football supporter? The loss of representative football is one of the great tragedies of our game, alongside the sub and hands in the back rules. We are possibly the only sport in the world where players do not have the chance to compete for higher honours and it robs the players of a great privilege and the people of a great spectacle.

Friday

Sydney vs Geelong SCG 7.50pm

The two best cultures in the AFL clashing for the whole country to see under the Friday night microscope. I’m so excited for this game of footy, this is an old fashioned footy fans’ wet dream. Both sides have big lumbering ruckmen, both have marking targets in the forward line and both love to get the ball moving quickly through the middle. Geelong have had three difficult games in a row and if they fall behind against the premiers I do not think they will be able to claw their way back. Sydney have had a gentle beginning to the year but reminded everyone how good they are with an eleven goal burst in the third quarter against the roos last week. On the small ground Sydney uses the constricted area better than anyone and their gritty midfield will be too good at home. Swans by 14 points.

Saturday

Hawthorn vs Fremantle AU 2.10pm

Intriguing matchup, this one. Hawthorn have not put a foot wrong since being embarrassed by the Cats whilst the Dockers will be sore after surrendering a big lead to the Bombers at home last week. The travel will be too much for Freo who are without their skipper Pavlich. Hodge is improving every week and Hawthorn seem to be in a fantastic purple patch at the moment. Unfortunately for them, as they keep finding out, flags aren’t won in April. Hawks by 16 points.

Richmond vs Collingwood MCG 2.10pm

I know I shouldn’t be surprised but I am. This is unbelievable being touted as a traditional Saturday afternoon blockbuster, I’ll believe it when I see it. Richmond have not beaten anyone credible yet – nor have they had the opportunity, however I certainly will not give them a second thought until they do. Collingwood on the other hand, have looked strong aside from a poor half an hour last week. Pies by 24 points.

St. Kilda vs Essendon ES 4.40pm

I’m going to use one of the worst terms in footy here but this is shaping as a genuine ‘danger game’ for the Bombers. A lot is going on down at the hangar and I just don’t know how long they can keep playing with such high level emotion and intensity. Having said that, the Saints are shit so Dons by 17 points.

Gold Coast vs Port Adelaide MS 7.40pm

Difficult one to call up on the Gold Coast. Port have been in great form whilst the Suns have had nothing to smile about since surprising the Saints in round one. The second coming of Kane Cornes and the development of a whole host of promising young men has Port in second place – amazing I know. Gold Coast are still over reliant on Gazza who hasn’t looked right since mesmerizing the Saints a few weeks ago. Port by 4 points.

West Coast vs Carlton PS 7.40pm

The Weagles recorded their first win with a morale boosting thumping of Melbourne, who have been running teams into form since the 1800s. Their imposing forward line and impressive midfield depth will be too much for a Carlton side that can’t seem to pull their shit together for four quarters. Don’t be surprised to see a close one on the wide open spaces, however West Coast will find a way through Eagles by 8 points.

Sunday

Melbourne vs GWS MCG 1.10pm

It is a bit of a joke that this game is worth the same amount of premiership points as many others. This will be a testament to why the league should not have 18 teams. Melbourne are an absolute basket case but will surely fight back this week. GWS, whilst showing signs of improvement should not be able to contain a Melbourne side with a serious point to prove – I can’t believe I’m saying it but Dees by 5 points.

Adelaide vs Western Bulldogs AS 2.40pm

Not the foregone conclusion many people are predicting. Aside from last weeks horror show, the Bulldogs have been serviceable this season whilst Adelaide forward set up is a mess post Tippet. Walker is definitely missing his boyfriend and there is not much else to kick too. The crows’ midfield will be too strong, however only just. This is my safe bet this week, take the Bulldogs with a 66 point head start at 1.20 – massive mismatch in the market I think. Crows by 13 points.

North Melbourne vs Brisbane ES 4.40pm

Crucial match up. It is becoming do or die for North Melbourne so they really must win against the sides making up the numbers. Brisbane have not improved as much as their impressive pre-season suggested. North should have no problem winning in front of 17 people at Docklands. North by 25 points.

Image Credit:

http://images.brisbanetimes.com.au/2009/08/18/684211/melee-420×0.jpg

http://forum.sportal.com.au/default.aspx?g=posts&m=2758978

Jack Palazzo

What a massive lead in to this round. This past week has been so long it almost feels like the off-season again.

Melbourne are a true basket case. Haven’t won a flag since the fifties, I’m betting they won’t make the eight again until the twenties. Neeld is not the man to lead them out of the wilderness, his message is quite clearly not being received. The Melbourne list is too choc full of youth and talent to be under-performing so severely. I’m feeling that they are being over-coached, with too much to think about nothing is done properly. Watts has been dropped this week, I think that’s a symbol of how tragic the club is, there have been a lot of average number ones, but I can’t remember one being dropped three games into their third season. All is not well at Melbourne and Cameron Schwab will surely not be the only man to fall, or be pushed as I suspect, on to his sword.

Is anyone else loving watching James Hird squirm? Don’t take me the wrong way Dons fans I have a lot of respect for him as a player, but my goodness seeing his txt messages in The Age and watching him continue trying to cover up their supplement program is too much for me. Dank has clearly turned on the club and is simply trying to protect himself. Although, back to the funny side, with the revelations that Hird himself has been taking drugs, imagine if TWO Essendon players were stripped of Brownlows. Shocking for the game, but gee I can’t help but smirk. The real tragedy is the young men at the club, would you, as a parent want your eighteen your old son being injected with god knows what? I wouldn’t have thought so. Demetriou said this morning we are seeing the tip of the iceberg, for the sake of the game, I hope he is wrong. Lastly to the credit of the players they seem to just be getting on with it – can’t argue with two from two, I’m impressed with them on-field to say the least. Shame they won’t be playing for premiership points this year!

Finally, and I don’t think they’ll win the flag, but how good must it be barracking for the Cats. I don’t think any supporters could possibly be more proud of any club ever. Their list is seemingly in transition but they still never give up. They were down and out against the Roos, six goals down and they once again scored in the last minute to secure the points – as Mr. Robert Palmer would say – simply irresistible.

Friday Night

Fremantle vs Essendon PS 8.40

Both these sides are undefeated and this shapes as a great game. However, I’m not sure how long the Bombers can play fuelled by anger and adrenalin. The Dockers seem to have bought in to the high pressure, Ross Lyon, brand of Football. It is an exciting time to be draped in purple because when their tall midfield fire they are hard to stop. The names simply don’t stack up and I don’t think the Bombers have anywhere near the same calibre of player anywhere on the ground. Dockers by 19 points.

Saturday

North Melbourne vs Sydney BA 1.45

There is an upset on the cards here. Even though North Melbourne are scared of winning games, they have been close against some quality opposition. Sydney looked underdone to me, and is lucky to have been served up two byes in the first two rounds by the harbour loving AFL. Perhaps they scheduled their pre-season to hit their straps at round one. In any case, Sydney’s quality will come to the fore in the last quarter of this game at about the same time North realise they are a chance of winning and proceed to drop their bundle. Josh Kennedy to manhandle the young North midfield and Sydney by 14 points.

Melbourne vs West Coast MCG 2.10

Thirty people are expected to roll up to watch the dees roll over. I would love to know the feeling, that all Melbourne supporters have, of choosing not your seat, but which stand you want to sit in today. West Coast by 60 points.

Greater Western Sydney vs St. Kilda MO 4.40

Genuinely tricky one to call. St. Kilda clearly over-rate themselves, I’m continually amazed by the propaganda pushing the idea that the Saints are havng one more crack at the flag with their old brigade. Um, hmmm, this is awkward – you lost to the suns and the tigers #nufsaid. However I think the embarrassment will end this weekend and they’ll get their first of not many wins. Saints by 18 points.

Geelong vs Carlton ES 7.40

Very much looking forward to this one. Very hard game to pick, how long can the Cats stay up for? Their never say die attitude is admirable but surely they can’t do it three weeks in a row. Well some would say surely three flags in five years couldn’t be done but here we are. The Blues simply can’t match it with the best for four quarters however I think they are slowly closing the gap. This is a vital game for Carlton because not only are they winless now, they may be winless in three weeks time as well. Selwood vs Judd and Hawkins vs Jamison are the key matchups to game that is a coin flip for me. Due to pedigree Cats by 4 points.

Gold Coast vs Brisbane MS 7.40

The fifth edition of this artificially constructed rivalry which mainly consists of pot shots from the coaches. Dubbed the Q-Clash, it needs another close one, because this lame attempt at creating a rivalry needs a shot in the arm. First time the Suns are chance of winning without it being considered an upset. It’s all about Gazza, if he grabs the pill forty times and snags four sausage rolls – suns win. Hard to give a reason why he wouldn’t really, I mean, who plays on him? Despite that, I think Rockliff and Zorko will do enough through the middle Lions by 9 points.

Sunday

Richmond vs Western Bulldogs ES 1.10

Closer than people think but the Tigers are 2-0 without hitting their straps and the Dogs reminded everyone last week just how much work there is to be done. It is the kind of game that ‘Old Richmond’ would have found a way to lose. Boyd may come back for the puppies which is very important. With him winning hard ball, Cotchin and Deledio may see less of it. However with Riewoldt and Vickery in form, the Tigers have too many weapons. Tigs by 27 points.

Collingwood vs Hawthorn MCG 3.20

Two impressive wins so far from an underdone Collingwood. Whilst Hawthorn seemed to overcome their first round embarrassment by destroying the Eagles last week. This is undoubtedly the match of the round as these premiership contenders jostle for early bragging rights. The Hawks have won the last three against the Pies with Mitchell and Franklin firing every time. Ben Reid will have his hands full whilst Swan will simply have to try and win more footy. Cloke has been quiet so far this season; the big occasion Sunday afternoon would be the perfect time for him to step up particularly as the Q-stick will most likely be required in the ruck. Hawthorn’s form seems to strong though Hawks by 12 points.

Port Adelaide vs Adelaide AS 4.10

Showdown XXXIV. Haven’t said it for a while but Port seem to be the form team. I know they haven’t really beaten anyone of note but you can only smash the duds the AFL put in front of you. Adelaide on the other hand seem to be struggling in their post-Tippet forward line. Walker is not in on the goals and their midfield is not reaching the dizzy heights of a preliminary final last year. Whilst I think the Crows will find a way through and win, it is going to be very close. As a result, Port Adelaide with a 30 point head start at $1.30 is my safe bet of the round.

Still, Crows by 5 points.

Photo Credit: The Age

Jack Palazzo

Huge week of surprises last week, I only picked 2 or 3 so we are calling it surprising. Ok? Good.

Let’s start with the most pathetic and move up, Melbourne – wow. Words can’t describe how insipid their performance was, I think you know trouble is brewing when your best player for the day was on debut. Only Jack Viney could be pleased with his performance. Port Adelaide – must be less shit than I thought, snaps for Port.

The Blues played one quarter of decent footy and still almost overran the fading Tigs. Richmond, typically, tried as hard as they possibly could to lose, but somehow they held on and should charge to 3-0 in a couple weeks time.

Biggest surprise of the round had to be the Bulldogs effort, Cooney, Higgins, Libba and Wallis reminded everyone just how strong that midfield can be. The Lions may have fallen victim to the NAB curse, however don’t write them off after one howler.

Sydney and an undermanned Collingwood had straightforward wins over GWS and North respectively. North should probably have taken advantage of the Pies’ packed medical ward yet instead showed that they are not ready to challenge the big boys.

The Suns seem to be coming of age lead by the best player of the last ten years, Gary Ablett – what a hero. 90 supercoach points in the last quarter alone just about says it all as far as I’m concerned. St. Kilda are staring down the barrel of a long decade I reckon.

Lastly, Geelong. I’m speechless, the first side since 2001 to win despite conceding 39 forward fifty entries in the first half alone. Maclure continues to be proven right, the Hawks seem to falter on the big stage. Just how far these Cats can go remains to be seen, I have the feeling they will struggle against the mediocre sides and trouble the heavyweights – funny that.

Another intriguing round coming up, let’s crack in.

Friday Night

St. Kilda vs Richmond MCG 7 50

The AFL tell us they want to increase interest in the game, perhaps they shouldn’t roll out insipid, bottom half of the ladder yawn fests this early in the season on a Friday night. Anyway, how could the Tigs possibly fall over here, big Jack was quiet last week and will surely remind everyone how good he is playing on, who? Oh yeah, haha . . . Zac Dawson. The Dinosaurs in the Saints midfield won’t be able to keep up with the Richmond jets, Cotch to dominate again and Tigers by 45 points.

Saturday

Sydney vs Gold Coast SCG 1 45

Gentle start to the season for the premiers who will cruise into 2-0 after this. Bolton will run with Gaz and will surely not allow him dominate as he did last week. Shame that the Suns are about to have the wind knocked out of their sails Swans by 33 points.

Western Bulldogs vs Fremantle ES 2 10

I’m always wary of Freo playing anywhere except Subiaco, but my goodness they look strong. I don’t think the dogs’ admittedly excellent looking midfield can match it with these potential world-beaters from the West. If one of Fyfe or Pearce are let off the chain early this game could be all over by quarter time. However I reckon the travel will play a factor and if Jones can clunk a few we could be in for a contest Freo by 14 points.

Brisbane vs Adelaide G 3 40

Both sides need to turn miserable round one performances around. Neither would be too keen on staring down the barrel at 0-2. Brisbane need to turn the Gabba back into a fortress however Dangerfield has not had two bad games in a row for a long time. Looking at the Brisbane side, who runs with him? Raines? Puhlease. Sloane, Dangerfield and Thompson will run amok up there and the big Mullet is going to bag 5 Crows by 22 points.

Port Adelaide vs GWS AS 7 10

Reckon you’ll watch this one? Na, me neither. Port by 22 by 18 points because I think they are less shit than I first thought.

Essendon vs Melbourne MCG 7 40

History won’t help the Dees this time. Despite winning the last three if they throw up the same kind of tripe as last week God help them. Back the dees to kick the least goals for the round and lock in another 3 for Jobe. Essendon by 62 points.

(Blockbuster) Sunday

Geelong vs North Melbourne ES 1 10

If they couldn’t handle an under-manned Collingwood, North will struggle with a full strength Geelong who are coming off a vintage performance last week. Not only have the old brigade still got it, but the likes of Duncan and Caddy look a million bucks at the moment. The superstar academy at Kardinia park is in full swing and I don’t think North have the weapons to stop them. Much rests on Petrie beating Taylor and the poor sod who has to keep a hold of Selwood. Cats by 27 points.

Collingwood vs Carlton MCG 3 20

Why this has been relegated to Sunday arvo, I’ll never know. In any case It is going to be a cracker. Even though the Blues are learning the new gameplan, Mick’s knowledge of the pies’ players will surely help. Both sides still have a few outs but Collingwod’s seem worse than Carlton’s. The Blues will surely be hurting from having their pants pulled down last week whilst the Pies will be growing in confidence. On paper, it’s chalk and cheese, however I think the Blues may come out with a bit of piss and vinegar for this one. Could go either way but I reckon the Blues by 2 points.

West Coast vs Hawthorn PS 2 40

Very important eight point game. Both these premiership fancies are still looking for their first win and begin to build some momentum. Home ground advantage is massive this week with both sides carrying injured men, West Coast don’t lose too many over there. Luke Hodge continues to be missed whilst he tries to recover, meanwhile Buddy looked fat and lazy last week. Wish I were paid 700 grand to wander around with my hand on my hips. Even without Lecras West Coast will have too much fire power up front for the Hawks, back Kennedy to take out the Coleman, he looks outstanding at the moment despite missing most of last year. Eagles by 8 points.

Jack Palazzo

The ridiculous split round concept aside, fair to say the AFL have set up round one perfectly. There is interest in almost every game, not many easy ones to pick with plenty on the line, already, for many teams.

Amazing how no one seems to care about last week’s two games. For the record, Adelaide were incredibly lacklustre against an Essendon side who simply wanted the footy more. They came to play, Howlett and Watson were in everything whilst Dangerfield spent most of the game lost. Fremantle were unreal against West Coast, their on ball brigade comprised of Barlow, Mundy and Fyfe, may well be severely underrated because they certainly impressed me the other night. West Coast on the other hand of yet more injury worries with LeCras going down again.

Alright, time to get stuck in the (real) first week – Christ, pun definitely intended, I’ve missed it.

Thursday Night

Carlton vs Richmond MCG 7 45

Plenty at stake here for these two 2012 under achievers. Chaplain is the only new player on the ground however many changes of ability and system will be expected from the faithful of both sides. Much hinges on the Riewoldt – Jamison battle. Big Jack has had the wood over Jamo in recent times however with a beefier looking backline, the Blues should be able to double and triple team him as the Tigers really don’t seem to have many other avenues to goal. Carlton’s hopes are pinned on their midfield, and with an average forward line they will be relying on weight of supply to try and kick a decent score. Murphy, Gibbs, Judd vs Cotchin, Martin, Deledio is mouth-watering and should produce an outstanding contest. However I think the Blues have more midfield depth and will win that crucial battle through the guts. Blues by 13 points.

Saturday

Western Bulldogs vs Brisbane ES 1 40

I feel like I’m going to say this a few times this year, but I really hope the dogs don’t get flogged. Fancy being pumped by Brisbane at the moment, would not bode well at all. The Dogs despite some impressive, albeit old, names running through the midfield really have little to look forward to this season. They won’t bounce back from a twelve goal flogging so I hope they put up a fight. Brisbane have plenty to smile about, they seem to have the weapons to make a charge to eighth spot, particularly if Rockliff can rediscover his best form. Lions by 34 points.

Greater Western Sydney vs Sydney ANZ 4 40

The Premiers up against the “expansion side”, which is the AFL’s way of excusing the money they are pumping into that project. Not much to say, it is a bit of a bye for the Swans really, they would have more trouble playing against witches hats. Swans by an absolute truckload, lets call it 75 points

Gold Coast vs St. Kilda MS 6 45

Don’t be surprised if we see an upset here. No, I haven’t had one too many, I think we can read a fair bit into Gold Coast’s victories over the Tigers and Blues last season and these kids may just be finding their feet in the big time. Full pre-season into Gazza – I mean who’s going to stop him? Joey is injured and don’t forget that Kosi still plays for St. Kilda, big plus for the Suns right there. I know it’s farfetched and to be honest, I don’t really believe my own hype but there is an upset brewing. Nevertheless, I think the Saints will survive a big scare by 4 points.

Sunday

Melbourne vs Port Adelaide MCG 1 10

This is a massive game. No really. It is because it is one of very few games this year, upsets aside, that Melbourne can be genuinely expected to win. They have spent the dollars, brought some big names in over the last couple of years – I’m talking Dawes and Clark – and now is the time they should certainly be destroying the favourites for the spoon. Some of the faces on port’s list resemble the brochure I brought home from my under 14s presentation night. They are seriously young and their Mother’s will be on hand with Band-Aids and face wipes in case anyone gets injured or dirty. Dees by 14 because they bloody well should.

North Melbourne vs Collingwood ES 4 40

They talked the talked those Kangas and proved a few doubters (this guy) very wrong by making the finals last year, only to be absolutely destroyed and humiliated (last laugh for me? I think so) by West Coast in Perth. Heading into this season all their bright young talents have signed contracts and bought in, we are told they have the best coach in the comp, in Brad Scott, so surely there is no reason to believe they won’t improve. However, Brent Harvey is still their best player, the 4000 game veteran is out for 6 weeks and the rest of the midfield looks middling at best. Swallow, Wells, Ziebell, Anthony and Bastinac – doesn’t really thrill or excite does it. Lets compare that nice looking, but relatively weak, Mazda3 of a midfield to the Rolls Royce they are up against – Swan, Pendlebury, Thomas, Beams and Ball. Hyeah, amiright? Good luck roos. Pies by 33 points.

Monday

Hawthorn vs Geelong MCG 3 20

In a round choc full of important games and blockbusters, this is the one I will drop everything to tune in to. The burn from that 2008 grand final disaster is healing, many of the players who swore never to lose to Hawthorn again are gone – Mooney, Gazza, Milburn, Stokes, Ottens, Ling, Scarlett – to name a few. The remaining, whilst still incredible players, aren’t quite the world-beaters they once were, I am referring to the likes of Chapman, Corey, Johnson and of course, my favourite, Jimmy Bartel. Geelong are over the hill, at least until Selwood leads their young brigade back up the mountain. Which may happen very soon – I just don’t think its now. Hawthorn, realistically have one last crack at the flag and it must begin for them on Monday. The midfield battle will be even, much will come down to who is more effective out of Hawkins and Franklin. However with Johnson injured, I think Franklin will have more friends down there and the hawks get across the line by 4 points.

Jack Palazzo

Thank Christ Footy is back.

After a summer where Australians Spring Racing Carnival induced delirium was cancelled out by the dismal performances of our national cricket team and tennis heroes I cannot remember a summer where Footy has been so badly missed.

We can only discuss Tomic being a flog, Stosur crumbling under the weight of expectation, Clarkey becoming the best since Bradman and the fact that Watson is too much of a soft-cock to bowl so much. I am sick of these discussions and have decided that we need the variety and diversity of Aussie Rules back in our conversations toute suite – is that French? This is what happens when Footy goes away, I learn stuff that makes me sound like Ed Cowan, an overrated academic pretending to know everything.

Whilst the development and improvement of the A-League has helped ease our considerable pain, it is simply no substitution for the greatest spectator sport on the planet. For watching Aussie Alex Del-Piero curl in a thirty yard free kick is simply not the same as watching Franklin dance around four blokes before slotting a sausage roll from sixty-five metres out on the boundary line.

To give you an idea of how badly we need Footy back this year, the media and public at large have been able to forgive the AFL and the clubs of some absolutely heinous crimes this Summer and pre-season. The Kurt Tippet salary cap cheating and subsequent punishment and trade, Melbourne being charged with bringing the game into disrepute instead of tanking and finally the Essendon drug scandal has all contributed to one of the most tumultuous off seasons of all time.

Yet all is forgiven because we love it so bloody much!

Unfortunately the AFL is persisting with their first round split round effort so here is my take on the two games this weekend.

Friday Night

Adelaide vs Essendon AAMI Stadium 8.10pm

This is the battle of who cocked up the most during the off-season. Essendon takes the chocolates in that category – but only just. Adelaide luckily was punished with a wet lettuce leaf while Essendon are yet to receive their fate. Given that Adelaide have had plenty of time to recover from being caught salary cap cheating, the way Essendon play will be more intriguing. It will be interesting to see if the Dons are united by the scandal or if they play with a kind of fatigue that suggests a heavy burden weighing on their shoulders. Only one significant change each for these two sides with Kurt Tippet’s departure leaving a massive hole in the Adelaide forward line whilst the addition of Brendon Goddard to the Essendon midfield will surely add some much needed steel and depth. Both these teams have plenty to play for this season, Adelaide have premiership aspirations with former captain Mark Riccuito picking them to win it and Essendon will be looking to break back into the eight and win back some respect along the way. I think home ground advantage will be significant and the Bombers players can expect to be on the receiving end of some (probably not so) witty banter from the Adelaide faithful. Crows by 14 points.

Saturday

Fremantle vs West Coast Subiaco 4.40

I quite like the idea of kicking off the season with the Western derby. This game in particular will be massive because I’m expecting both to feature in the top four come the season’s end. Josh Kennedy and Mark LeCras are back from long term injury for the Eagles, making the best forward line in the league look stronger still. However their midfield will take a hit with the absence of Daniel Kerr and Nic Natainui. This is somewhat nullified by the removal of Sandilands who casts a massive shadow over the entire Fremantle team and will be sorely missed. The Eagles simply seem to have more weapons through the midfield and the forward line and should do enough to win in a typically very close one. Eagles by 7 points.

Ladder Prediction (for what it’s worth)

Hawthorn

Sydney

West Coast

Collingwood

Fremantle

Carlton

Adelaide

Richmond

Geelong

North Melbourne

Essendon

Brisbane

St. Kilda

Gold Coast

GWS

Melbourne

Bulldogs

Port Adelaide

Premiers: West Coast

Brownlow: Scott Pendlebury

Rising Star: Jack Viney

Jack Palazzo

Here we go let’s get it started. Don’t you love the last week of September in Melbourne? The city is packed, trams, hotels and restaurants are full as the corporates flock from all the lands to see the biggest sporting event in the country. One hundred thousand people will cram into the MCG on Saturday afternoon to watch the Hawks and the Swans do battle. Get excited.

Before I launch into the game, a quick Brownlow review is in order. What a fantastic night and we were presented with a deserving winner for the first time in a while. Fair to say the strong polling of Dangerfield and Cotchin represents a changing of the guard as perennial vote getters Judd, Black and Goodes slipped down the leader board. Once again the midfielders dominated, holding every spot in the top 10 whilst Demitriou didn’t, how he can blatantly mispronounce and stuff up so many names is beyond me. St. kilda’s Blake broke finally ended his unwanted streak for most games without a vote and Watson was the first winner from a side outside the eight since Crawford in 2009.

Lastly congratulations to John Longmire who was this week voted Coach of the year by his peers.

Grand Final Day

Hawthorn vs Sydney MCG 2.30

Hawthorn has won their last four games against the swans at the MCG who incidentally have lost their last eleven at the ground. Inspirational captain Luke Hodge will return for the Hawks after taking a rest last week whilst Brett Guerra won’t recover in time for the decider. The only concern for the Swans is the absence of former Hawk and goal sneak Ben McGlynn.

Sam Mitchell’s two quietest games of the year were against Sydney where Kieran Jack smashed him both times. This battle within the midfield battle will be crucial as both sides rely on their hard bodies grabbing first use of the footy. Expect to see an absolutely brutal opening to this game, with Lewis, Bolton, Sewell and Kennedy throwing their bodies around the bottom of the packs ruthlessly. Where the Hawks have an advantage is their outside runners and ball users, Burgoyne is clinical and has rediscovered the form which prompted Sheahan to declare him in the top five players in the competition. Throw in Rioli and Suckling compared to Sydney’s Jetta and O’Keefe, I think the Hawks take the honours there.

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