Despite finding the whole thing slightly gimmicky and unnecessary in today’s climate I always enjoy Indigenous Round. For whatever reason the Aboriginal boys tend to lift for the occasion and we have seen the Tigs and the Dons put on a good show at the Dreamtime game. The recognition of Nicky Winmar’s powerful stance at Victoria park twenty years ago has been lovely and appropriate so I commend the AFL on a good job.

In the wake of such a powerful anti-racism image I am distressed to hear strange rumblings related to Majak Daw. The reverse racism associated with the idea that Majak’s achievement is heightened due to his racial background makes me sick. Hearing people say no one would care if he were white is a terrible notion. His achievements to date are receiving plenty of press for many reasons, he is the first Sudanese footballer, he has a rippling six-pack, he is good looking, he jumps higher than Nic Nat and he is kicking goals! What’s not to love? Oh and I don’t know what he is smuggling in his speedos, but it is a fair bit bigger than a budgee. I am Majak fan numero uno, get around the Sudanese sensation.

Lastly, Ian Robson, the former Essendon CEO has finally resigned. This needed to happen and I’m glad it did, the sooner Essendon clean the mess up the sooner we can all move along. However I am curious what will become of Hird and Thompson – time will tell I guess.

Friday 

Collingwood vs Sydney MCG 7.50pm

No doubt this is the match of the round. Plenty on the line for both sides this week. A win for Collingwood will propel them back into the top four race whilst Sydney are in danger of falling into the chasing pack. The Swans could not stand the heat against the Hawks and the Pies are likely to bring a similar high-pressure precision style of footy, despite the absence of Shaw and Thomas. No major absentees for the Swans and they should make life hard for the Pies, however the re-introduction of Luke Ball to Collingwood’s midfield has added much needed grunt and accountability. The midfield battle will be intriguing, Swan and Pendles vs Hannebury and Bird, all in top form at the moment. However I think the game will be decided by the bookends, Reid vs Goodes and Cloke vs Richards, whichever forward makes his presence felt will have a massive influence on the outcome of this one. I think on the wide open spaces of the G, the pies won’t be beat, Collingwood by 12 points.

Saturday

Port Adelaide vs Geelong AS 1.15pm

The returning Steve Johnson is a massive in for the Cats. His influence on their midfield and the spark he provides resting forward is still underrated by the general public I think. Chapman is still missing but the Cats simply have too many weapons for the Power who this week are being disrupted by five changes including former captain Cassisi. It won’t be as easy as many pundits are suggesting and I am tempted to make Port with a 50 point head start my safe bet this week. In any case Cats by 24 points.

GWS vs West Coast SK 2.10pm

West Coast are handing out breaks to all of Schofield, Wellingham, Waters and Selwood this week. Won’t make a difference though. Eagles by 55 points.

St Kilda vs Western Bulldogs ES 4.40pm

The blowtorch was finally applied to Dogs Coach Brendan Mccartney this week. He has won one of the last 19 matches. This deplorable record need to change, the old “we know we’re progressing” line must be growing very old for success starved Dogs supporters. The Saints were competitive for a half against a rejuvenated Crows outfit before being blown away however this week they regain Lenny Hayes – what a man – and will surely have enough quality to overcome the most irrelevant side in footy.

Brisbane vs Carlton G 7.40pm

Merret and Clarke’s absence is the consequence for roughing up the Dons. Whilst the Blues welcome back much maligned midfielder Bryce Gibbs. The Blues cruised to a three goal win last week whilst Brisbane put in their best performance for years, toppling ladder leaders Essendon in a massive boilover. I think that effort will have taken plenty out of them and the Blues will be too strong even at the Gabbatoir, they are slowly putting the pieces together and simply need to win these games if they are to feature in September. Blues by 14 points.

Richmond vs Essendon MCG 7.45pm

Maric and Newman are significant ins for the Tigers whilst Dempsey is back from his club imposed suspension for being a dickhead. Very much a coin toss this match. I don’t think the Tigers have the ability to win matches even though we are dangerously close to the stage of the season where the Bombers wheels fall off. Choosing between two basket cases is difficult at the best of times. I’m going with Essendon simply because I think Carlisle will teach Riewoldt a lesson, whilst the Tigers can’t cover all of Crameri, Hurley and Ryder. Dons by 4 points.

Sunday

Hawthorn vs Gold Coast MCG 1.10pm

No side with O’meara and Ablett in it will be disgraced. But – Hawthorn. Hawks by 45 points.

Fremantle vs Melbourne PS 2.40pm

Each week I have the feeling Melbourne are playing to avoid a Tuesday shot gun press conference. This one could get ugly, Freo need the percentage. Dockers by 75 points.

North Melbourne vs Adelaide ES 3.20pm

Unfortunately we have to wait until three to see a decent game on Sunday however I’m expecting a classic. Both sides are slowly moving in the direction after slow starts to the season and both have points to prove. North have been the best performing side outside the eight whilst the Crows turned head with their demolition of the Saints. No major changes for either side who are both close to full strength. Genuinely tough one to pick, simply based on the location and the fact that if Majak squeezed my head between his pecs he’d make it explode, North by 13 points.

HIMYM (How I Met Your Mother, for those of you playing at home, who have more time to type the full name repeatedly), is a show that once was a tightly-scripted, clever enough comedy, but now feels a little like watching Julius Caesar’s death in Rome, as dozens of senators stab him over and over and over until there is virtually no part of his body left unstabbed. He’s dead, guys. Come on.

An unfortunate pattern with American sitcoms (looking at you Scrubs, Frasier, Friends) is that there reaches a point where narrative takes precedence over laughs, and the show ceases to be a comedy, because it ceases to be funny. A comedian once told me that comedy should make you laugh, make you cry, make you horny, and make you think. Writers can try to make up for the lack of laughs with the last three, but when the laughs fail, the show fails. This is the unfortunate place we find ourselves as HIMYM wraps up its eighth season (well, to be fair, I did laugh, once, during the finale).

The problem that arises with sitcoms is that we have shallow, predictable, funny characters who, true to narrative form, are expected to “grow up” as the show progresses. For some reason, once this happens, writers almost invariably struggle to mesh plot with comedy, and the comedy suffers. I’ve had screenwriters tell me, for example, that it’s known the birth of a baby usually spells the death of a sitcom. See Friends’ Rachel or Scrubs’ JD. The only sitcom that didn’t encounter this problem was Seinfeld because the characters never learned from their mistakes, never changed, never grew up – and that was why we loved them. HIMYM hit the baby tipping point a year ago and any investment we still have in it is for closure on the characters’ narratives, and there’s a limit to how long we will hang around for that.

Show runners Carter Bays and Craig Thomas realised about three seasons in that this was no longer Ted’s show, it was Barney’s. Neil Patrick Harris and his legend-ary-ness are the forces that have driven this show. HIMYM’s quality carried through solidly to round about season five, when they explored Barney and Robin’s relationship the first time around, and there’s been a sense of increasingly lethargy since then. And now we are reaching the conclusion of Barney’s arc – his marriage to Robin – the show feels as if it is Return of the King-ing its ending. And we all desperately want to go to the bathroom already.

Bays and Thomas had plotted this season to be the last, while including an option to extend this already ridiculously long-winded narrative for another season - which really tells you all you need to know about how unnecessary season nine will be. In an attempt to inject life into Ted’s story – the foundation upon which this show was originally based – the writers decided to finally give us a glimpse of the enigmatic “mother” in the season finale. This “shocking reveal” -what Huffington Post punned as “the mother of all reveals” – ultimately did nothing but show us the face of a nameless woman we know is the mother. That information, on its own, given her anonymity, is pretty unengaging and doesn’t truly provide us with any new material. And it was juxtaposed with the penultimate episode of the season, which ended with yet another obviously doomed “moment” between Ted and Robin, who we were informed by Ted in the pilot episode was not the mother. Which, fond as I once was of this show, leads to an inevitable conclusion. The show has been stabbed enough, guys. It’s dead.

Finally, the obituary for the bump has been written. It is simply too risky to knock players off the ball. Even one of the shortest players in the AFL, Eddie Betts, can’t help but take out a player’s head. So now, he misses four weeks for unintentionally making contact with someone’s head. Yep, four weeks, yep, he didn’t mean to do it and yep, it was close to the ball. Anyone remember Lindsay Thomas? Oh that’s right, he purposely changed direction, off the ball, in order to take out Reid and leave him on the sidelines for weeks. He should’ve been banned for at least five I hear you say, well, he copped three. Oh, and remember Justin Koschitzke, who, off the ball, stuck his elbow out and collected a player in the face, do I hear bids of six and seven? Well, he copped two. I’m confused, the players are confused, the coaches are confused and footy is becoming difficult to watch at times.

Knock on the match review panel over, now I’m going after the rules of the game committee. It is not the umpire’s fault that our game is so badly over officiated, they are pawns. The free kicks that are paid when (Geelong) players drive their heads into the hands or bodies of others is becoming a joke. The ‘too high’ rule is in place to stop players having their heads ripped off, not to prevent light knocks and touches, it’s becoming basketball, and no one wants that. Furthermore, marking and ruck contests have always been, and should continue to be contests of strength. Now, thanks to the Naitanui rule, they are jumping matches. Defenders simply have no chance unless they stage free kicks. It’s amazing how much ‘AFL people’ criticise Soccer, yet the worst part of that game, simulation, is being encouraged by the rules and officiating in the AFL.

Let’s hope, amidst all the confusion we can see some decent footy this weekend, however, it’s shaping up to be another easing tipping week.

Friday

West Coast vs North Melbourne PS 8.40pm

Kerr, Selwodd, Masten, Waters back in and Naitanui in his second game. This is the look of the premiership fancied Eagles. They are putting their strongest side of the year out on their home turf on the big Friday night stage. North will hope Brent Harvey continues from his fantastic start and will be praying Swallow is fit enough to contribute. I don’t think Majak Daw can equal his efforts from last week if he has to play on Glass or Waters whilst Petrie has been quite disappointing so far this year. West Coast are slowly finding their feet and it’s a long way to come back from for the loser of this game who will be 3-5. Both sides seasons are delicately poised, it is very much a final in May and I think the Eagles will be too strong. Eagles by 19 points.

Saturday

Essendon vs Brisbane ES 1.45pm

Essendon crashed back down to Earth due to a footy less from the Cats. Brisbane simply do not know how to win, even in front of their own fans as they let a golden opportunity slip against the Weagles. Essendon welcome back Stanton and Ryder whilst Simon Black is sure to play a full game for the Lions. Too much is still left to Rockliff and Brown however and they will not be able to compete against a side keen to cement themselves in the top four. Dons by 55 points.

Hawthorn vs GWS AU 2.10pm

Hawthorn love it down in Tassie. They only difficult decision here is working out how our Supercoach sides will be affected – who will they rest? Hawks  by 85 points.

Gold Coast vs Western Bulldogs MS 4.40pm

A couple of good ins for the Dogs certainly lends weight to the idea they can start to climb the ladder. Brett Goodes has been a revelation whilst Koby Stevens is certainly handy. Tom ‘the tackling machine’ Liberatore provides the grunt whilst Coonery seems to be heading towards career best form. However, whilst their midfield is strong, with big Minson consistently providing the engine room with first use, the Dogs are consistently exposed at either end of the ground. They rely too heavily on Murphy to be everywhere, Grant and Jones have not developed and to be honest, I couldn’t tell you who plays in their backline. The Suns are hot (haha, see what I did there). Gazza, Bennel and the rest of the young brigade a re dominating, Rischitelli can’t even find a way into the side. On their home patch I’m expecting the Suns to be too strong, with Dixon to kick five. Suns by 12 points.

Collingwood vs Geelong MCG 7.40pm

Greatly anticipated clash between two of the best sides of the last five years. Initially I thought it was going to be a close one but the outs for Collingwood are far too significant. Thomas, Shaw and Clarke all not playing, whilst Ball’s inclusion helps, it is not enough to drag the Pies over the line. Especially as Hunt and Corey return for the Cats who continue to move from strength to strength. Cats by 23 points.

Sydney vs Fremantle SCG 7.40pm

The big men are back for both sides this week with the inclusions of Mumford and Clarke. Fremantle will be welcoming the return of Fyfe with open arms however on the smaller ground their outsiders runners will be curtailed. Sydney simply play the ground better than anyone else – as they should mind you. Swans by 25 points.

Sunday

Carlton vs Port Adelaide ES 1.10pm

Having cost the Blues the game by being suspended for being a dickhead, Waite is back this week and the misfiring Carlton forward line will welcome him with open arms. Betts and Yarran miss whilst Jamison should have recovered throughout the week to the point where he will be able to lift his arm. No major changes for the Power who are continuing their steady decline down the ladder. I don’t think they will be able to run with the Carlton midfield and I’m expecting Marc Murphy to have a breakout match and win the battle with Boak. Blues by 36 points.

Richmond vs Melbourne MCG 3.20pm

Much needed bye for the Tigers. Tiges by 80 points.

Adelaide vs St. Kilda AS 4.40pm

Both sides relatively unchanged for this crucial clash. Its interesting how given that they would both have finals aspirations, both sides would consider this game one they should be winning. The Saints will have newfound belief after upsetting the Blues last week whilst the Crows would have been smiling all week following their demolition in the Suns. They ,may have found one, in forward Lynch who bagged 10. On familiar dirt I think the Crows midfield guns will hit top form, expect Dangerfield and Sloane to dominate, whilst Thompson does the hard stuff. Crows by 15 points.

With today’s release of what has got to be the most anticipated album of the year; Daft Punk’s Random Access Memories, somehow the masked duo have had time to squeeze in a pretty sweet fashion collab. The French music revolutionaries, Guy-Manuel de Homem-Christo and Thomas Bangalter have teamed up with no other than design powerhouse Saint Laurent (previously Yves Saint Laurent – YSL) to create a series of campaign shots for the design house.

The result is a set of super sexy, super sleek retro disco themed images that have us all grabbing for sequined le smoking jackets. It must be said, not many can pull off robot chic. Guy-Manuel and Thomas are a definite exception to the rule.

If you only do one thing today, make sure it’s download Random Access Memories – your ears will thank you. In the mean time, let your eyes feast on these:

I wasn’t keen to write anything about the National Student Strike, mostly because I figured that it was a no win situation; no matter which position I took, my comments would either seem jaded and cynical or I would be associated with a group of people who seem to think that students are early 20^th century coal miners. Then I realised that’s not a no win game, so here are the reasons yesterday’s student strike, at least in Victoria, was an atrocious waste of everyone’s time.

Let’s start with the basics that have been doing the rounds on social media for the last couple of weeks. The idea of a strike is to deprive your employer of your labour in order to pressure them to appease your demands, it is and has been for centuries an effective tool for employees and labour unions in workplace bargaining situations where negotiations between employers and employees have broken down. But if you think really hard about your relationship as a student with your university, you’ll realise that you’re not an employee but what is known in business as a ‘consumer’. The university offers a product (courses), which you consume. The correct term then for what didn’t really happen this week is a boycott, but generally speaking that strategy works better when the business you are boycotting is impacted in some way by the boycott. Which the university, to whom you have already paid your fees this semester, is not.

I’d like now to move on to timing. Budget day certainly seems to be the right time to protest funding cuts, until you realise that it’s unlikely the government is still finalising budgetary policy six hours or so before the treasurer stands up in parliament. “But Pete”, I hear someone cry, “it’s not about changing budgetary policy, don’t be silly, that’s a ridiculous target to set for a student protest”. Well, anonymous and fictional objector, if you want me to miss a whole day of classes and study in a week when I, like many students, will submit more assignments than I will have hot dinners, you better have some lofty fucking ambitions. “But Pete!” shouts the part of my brain that realises opposition is necessary to the continuation of this article, “it’s about grabbing media attention, letting the government know that we’re not going to stand idly by while they bankrupt the future of education, and stuff.” To that I would point out that Saturday is a slower news cycle than Tuesday, during which media outlets are more actively looking for content, which would be more favourable conditions in which to compete with the big stories of the week. Also there are no classes on Saturday.

I have deliberately left discussion of the execution of the protest for last because I’m not one for eating dessert before dinner and frankly this magnitude of clusterfuck is the intellectual equivalent of a wedding cake made entirely out of jelly and donuts.

The main aspects you need to consider when organising a protest, or any event really, is how you plan to publicise it, and just how much abuse you want to scream at people who disagree with you, and how many building-wide evacuations you are willing to cause in an ill-considered and panicked attempt to drum-up more support. In the case of yesterday’s protest the answer to these central questions seem to be ‘if it was good enough for Woodstock it’s good enough for us’, ‘there can never be enough’ and ‘I have no idea what you’re talking about, wink.’

There is no excuse in the era of social media for not letting people know what you’re doing. Yet on Tuesday afternoon when I tried to find out how many people had turned up in the city I couldn’t find any information, mostly because I wasn’t really sure who was organising the protest, a situation that wasn’t easily remedied by reading any of the handbills that seemed to be the primary mode of communication favoured by this particular protest. ‘Cause fuck the internet and the environment right fellas?

Obviously some people involved in the protest felt that getting their message across was a bit of a weak suit as well, so they decided to get a microphone and stand in the middle of the Menzies lawn screaming at no one. Stunned by the lack of response to this tried and true campaign tactic it is alleged a member of the socialist alternative activated one of the smoke alarms in Campus Centre to try and force people onto the lawn. Apart from the fact that having the fire brigade come round costs the university a reasonably large amount of money and the protest was against taking money from universities, I’m not convinced that making people think there’s a fire and then surprising them with a socialist alternative rep yelling at them through a megaphone is a winning tactic. I’m not saying I’d definitely prefer to burn to death but I think I’d like to have the freedom to explore my options.

Which neatly brings me to my final point. Choice.

If you want people to come to your ill thought out, pointless and in some ways destructive protest, that’s fine. But if some people decline, those people are not your enemy, and definitely don’t deserve to be treated like they’re betraying some fictional industrial action or have abuse yelled at them through megaphones. Apart from the obvious incursions of basic human decency, it seems to suggest that you think calling someone a right wing bitch, or telling them they don’t give a shit about their education will change their mind about joining your protest. If I didn’t chip in some loose change for the Salvos and the old gent with the tin started hurling abuse, I doubt I’d turn around and start franticly looking for change.

Last week highlighted the quality gap in footy at the moment. It really was an incredible week of contenders vs pretenders. Who else picked nine? Oh yeah, everyone. Very little to talk about really, Port were found out by North who had been luckless until that point. Richmond’s reality check continues having now lost three in a row and are sitting . . . haha . . . ninth. The Essendon seconds overcame GWS despite being down at half time and Adelaide reminded everyone why they were a preliminary finalist for two quarters, then they reminded everyone that they were only there because of their draw.

Much was meant to be revealed with regards to the doping scandal this week however it was not to be the case. Hird has admitted that the report was tough to read yet the public are none the wiser. Whilst the push during a marking contest rule sunk to new lows. Anyone see the Scott Thompson decision? Not only was it not in the back but newborn puppies could push harder than that. The AFL and Jeff Gieschen have defended the rule while continuing to proclaim that they aren’t killing physicality – I’m lost.

At least we can look forward to a round filled with important, mouth watering games.

Friday

Geelong vs Essendon ES 7.50

I know the ground has a contract, but why oh why is this top of the table blockbuster between two undefeated sides at Docklands! They will pack it out instead of attracting 75,000+ to the G. Massive shame, anyway, both of these sides are in great form. Geelong however seem to have harder a more difficult start having overcome Hawthorn, Sydney and North along the way. I think its fair to say that the only side of note that Essendon have beaten is Collingwood. In any case Essendon are expecting the returns of Hurley, Heppel, Ryder, Winderlich and Fletcher. Not sure how they will go first start but it will certainly boost the bombers. However I think the uncertainty around the form of the inclusions couple with Geelong’s remarkable beginning to the season means Cats by 11 points.

Saturday

Port Adelaide vs Richmond AS 1.15pm

Richmond have travelled to Adelaide well in the past winning three of their last four. With that irrelevant fact in mind, this is still a very difficult one to call and I’ve changed my tip twice this week. Richmond will be smarting after three losses in a row and will not want the ledger to read negative. Port Adelaide are going to begin to be found out against the better sides and show that they aren’t quite up to it yet. I think they will slide down the ladder and out of the eight by season’s end. Tigs by 24 points.

Brisbane vs West Coast G 2.30pm

West Coast look like they are back in town after they pulled the dogs’ pants down last week. Whilst Brisbane were humbled by the Swans. I think that pretty says it all about where these teams are headed. Eagles by 45 points.

Western Bulldogs vs North Melbourne ES 4.40pm

Another chance for North to climb the ladder and for my Brownlow smoky, Andrew Swallow, to start racking up the votes. The Bulldogs are, once again, irrelevant. There is nothing to smile about and they should offload all of cross Cooney and Boyd at season’s end so they can bring in some seriously good young talent for the future. Also, Boomer Harvey is back in town, North by 38 points.

Hawthorn vs Sydney MCG 7.40pm

The last of three blockbusters. Hawthorn have been in sparkling form, dispatching all who have come before them since their loss to Geelong in round one. The big Saturday night stage is the perfect opportunity for Franklin to return to form after two goal-less weeks. His importance is amplified with the absence of the enigmatic Cyril Rioli this week. Sydney have a full bill of health but have not managed to hit their straps yet this season. Reid and Jetta both ran into some much needed form last week although I reckon even Koschitzke could be played into form against Brisbane. I think the Hawks will exact some revenge for last years heart break with Sydney still looking slightly under done for me. Hawks by 8 points.

Fremantle vs Collingwood PS 5.40pm

Fremantle have been decimated by injuries – again. They struggled to overcome the Gold Coast and with so many stars still out I simply can’t see them matching Collingwood who have regained Ball and Thomas’ mojo in the last week. No Pav no Bradley means the Dockers have nothing to kick to. The Collingwood half backs like Heath Shaw are going to dominate. Pies by 27 points.

Sunday

GWS vs Adelaide SK 1.10pm

Good thinking from the AFL. This Sunday is mother’s day so fixture two games that no one would have watched anyway. They struggle with the rules of the game but if they have half a chance to squeeze a penny out of the fixture, there’s no better going around. Oh yeah – Crows by 54 points.

Melbourne vs Gold Coast MCG 4.40pm

No Trengove and no Grimes is going to make it difficult for the dees. Only location is making me lean towards Melbourne. Perhaps coupled with the fact that unbelievably I think the dees’ worst six are better than the sun’s – for now. Dees by 4 points.

Monday

St. Kilda vs Carlton ES 7.40pm

Carlton are never a guarantee at Docklands however I can’t see them losing this one. The Blues seem to be clicking into gear under Mick and despite losing the dumbest player in footy for two weeks – Jarrad Waite you owe Carlton the rest of this season – I think Carlton will be far too quick for the ageing St. Kilda midfield. Dal Santo clearly doesn’t care anymore whilst Hayes takes all tackling pressure with him to the sideline. Blues by 35 points.

Parks and Recreation is a show which managed the remarkable feat of jumping the shark, backwards. Wheeeeee!!!

The first season was, pretty much, terrible. It borrowed heavily from the British Office in its mockumentary-style setup and its awkward humour. The characters were so bizarre as to be virtually unrelatable – something which is okay in short bursts, but generally does not spell long-running potential, unless you’re Seinfeld.

Season two was marginally better, as it started to feel its way, and bless the low ratings of NBC which meant that this show was given a much longer trial period than it would be on any other network with actual healthy viewership. Then something almost miraculous happened. Two new characters were introduced, one of them played by the continually awesome Rob Lowe, and the show took off and became a completely different beast.

 We’ve now finished season five, and my half-hour of Parks and Rec has firmly established itself as a highlight of sanity-restoring comedy in my week. It’s hard not to compare it to 30 Rock, with the central women of these shows, Amy Pohler and Tina Fey, besties in real life and both with comedy shows on NBC. 30 Rock was great, I loved it, but it was whacky at times to the point of French absurdist theatre. Parks and Rec started off like that, and while it maintains aspects of whackiness, it also has characters who are each adorably likeable, who we genuinely root for, and it tells stories that are grounded in the realities of life in a small town.

This season saw Leslie Knope’s first year on the City Council, having to deal with even more pissed-off Pawnee-ans than usual. It also saw another big step in her romance with Ben (one of the sweetest romances on TV since Denny Crane and Alan Shore). Ron Swanson finally almost settled down with a lady love (Lucy Lawless – that’s right, Ron Swanson is dating Xena) who has two girl children, no less. I cannot stress enough how much I love that man.

And his magnificent moustache.

At the end of season five, certain things have changed in Pawnee, Indiana (the town is now ninth in obesity, down from fourth!), but this show and its characters are still the ones we love. Andy and April are still trying to figure out how to almost-be-grownups, Jerry may be retired, but he still hangs around to be the butt of everyone’s jokes (Dammit, Jerry!), Tom is still pursuing his entrepreneurial dreams, Chris is trying to keep his many neuroses under control, and Ron Swanson will always be, totally, boss. (Ann: Exercise? Ron: Woodwork, and lovemaking).

This is not to say that Parks and Recreation doesn’t have its off moments – every time Tom’s friend-and-sometime-business-partner Jean-Ralphio appears on screen it’s like nails on a blackboard (and with the inclusion this season of his sister, now there’s two of them). Leslie’s nemesis on the city coucil, Councilman Jamm, is pretty much a single bad joke in the form of a pun repeated over and over. But we can forgive these irritations because not only are the main cast of characters quirky, funny and lovable, but the storytelling is always engaging.

Like almost everything on NBC, this show is a perennial ‘bubble’ show, so it’s not yet confirmed for a sixth season, although one is likely. It certainly looks in far better shape to be renewed than the ailing Community. We can only hope so, because Parks and Recreation is getting better and better.

Big round on the field last week. The Tiges received another reality check, Hawthorn found a way to win against the odds, the Blues are back, Port keep winning and Melbourne are still rubbish.

I can already here Richmond supporter crying foul. First of all, I would like to point out that the umpire, under the circumstances did the correct thing. If the ball strikes an umpire and remains in play, it is play on. It should however mention that the umpire, given that he was in line with the shot for goal, should never have been in the way, he had ample time to move. Having said that though, Vickery, do what you are paid to do and mark the ball. Finally people calling for a review of the decision, not only is all of the video evidence incredibly inconclusive but the correct decision was made anyway. If you ask me, Richmond should have never let the lead slip in the last minute anyway, how could you possibly leave all that space in the defensive arc for Ballantyne to run into. In the fight for finals spots these are the moment that will cost sides like Richmond. It was an immature way to lose and blaming the umpires is equally immature.

That game was one of three decided by less than a kick last week. Port Adelaide’s comeback perhaps the most remarkable of the season so far. Despite being 5-0 if we are honest that was their first reputable victory. To pull the premiership fancied West Coast Eagles back from forty one points down was nothing short of extraordinary, Port will surely start to believe they are good enough. It will be interesting to see how they go when they play a string of top sides in a row.

Finally, it seems like Essendon are in real trouble. It will be a terrible shame if their excellent record will be a result of cheating because they seem to play better, harder and stronger for longer. That fact aroused the suspicions of Carlton after they were on the end of an Essendon belting early last year and they now find themselves embroiled in a farcical hidden microphone scandal. Quite ridiculous really however the message it sends is that even other clubs had suspected Essendon of foul play. I have my fingers crossed for the Bombers, I sincerely hope they are clean, for the good of the game however when the truth comes out I have a feeling its going to be very, as Al Gore would put it, inconvenient.

Just some food for thought before a dive into this week’s games, Steven Dank and Mark Thompson were both at Geelong throughout a golden era. They were both at Essendon during the alleged performance enhancing drug taking. Surely I’m not the only one to make this connection, could Geelong find themselves in a spot of bother? Gee, I hope not.

Friday

Collingwood vs St. Kilda ES 7.50pm

Jolly and Krakour are two massive ins for the Pies this week. They will be desperate for a win to keep up with the top four, whilst St. Kilda are lost. Call it rebuilding rejuvenating revolutionising refreshing or playing terribly doesn’t matter really, the fact is that, Hayes and Riewoldt aside, the Saints old brigade look disinterested and the youngsters aren’t up to it. It is a worrying combination I think they will be in the hole for a while to come Pies by 45 points.

Saturday

Essendon vs Greater Western Sydney ES 1.45pm

Bunch of skinny kids against drugged up animals? Not much of a contest is it really. Bombers by 75 points.

North Melbourne vs Port Adelaide BA 2.10pm

Second best game of the round. Quite an intriguing fixture really, both sides at near full strength, both with young exciting lists, however one wins games. Port Adelaide will begin to be found out over the coming weeks as their fixture becomes dramatically more difficult. North have played pretty good footy against some top quality sides so far this year. However their fans will surely be disappointed with their ability to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. They should’ve beaten Hawthorn and Geelong and the ladder would look very different. They will click into gear in Hobart and Port will cop their first loss Roos by 18 points.

Adelaide vs Hawthorn AS 4.40pm

The wheels are falling off for Adelaide. I think top eight is gone. Misfiring midfield and no Tippet or Walker have transformed this premiership contending powerhouse into a mediocre struggler. I can’t imagine how they could roll the flag favourites even on their own patch. Hawks lose Rioli but gain Sewell who will win plenty of footy. Despite being ordinary last week they will bounce back and Buddy won’t kick 0.5 again, mark my words; he’s in for a big one. Hawks by 23 points.

Richmond vs Geelong MCG 7.40pm

This should be the most exciting game of the week. Both sides play pretty good footy to watch and I think they’ll throw up a classic. The Tigers must be feeling wounded after two losses in a row, whilst Geelong are flying high, doing enough to win every week. Chapman and Hawkins are two huge ins for Geelong and make them much more unpredictable going forward. The time spent by Harry Taylor in the forward line is also a brilliant move by Scott who seems to continue to encourage the best from the old and young players alike. Richmond simply don’t have the steel or the class to run with the Cats for four quarters, they rely far too heavily on Riewoldt and Cotchin having great games to pull them through. Cats by 9 points.

Gold Coast vs Fremantle MS 7.40pm

No Pavlich, No Fyfe, No Bradley, No Hill, No Freo? I’m not sure but it certainly adds a layer of intrigue to this otherwise boring clash. Despite it being the longest road trip in footy, you would expect Freo to head to the Gold Coast and get the job done without too much fuss. However the Gold Coast have the power to surprise if Jaeger, Bennel and Gazza bring their A games. This could be closer than many people think however Freo will have the quality to get over the line. Freo by 12 points.

Sunday

Sydney vs Brisbane SCG 1.10pm

We have only seen one quarter of the best of the Swans so far this year, that was when they dispatched the Roos a few weeks ago. I have a feeling they will make us wait longer. Brisbane isn’t worth the premier’s best effort and will be slowly dismantled. Swans by 25 points.

Carlton vs Melbourne MCG 3.20pm

This will be a walk in the park for the Blues whose best players are slowly returning. It is the perfect opportunity to ease Betts and Waite through full games whilst the midfield plays keepings off. If Carrazzo beats Jones, its game over, if Jones gets 30 touches, they’ll still lose, there really is nothing to smile about at Melbourne. Blues by 45 points.

West Coast Eagles vs Western Bulldogs PS 2.40pm

This is exactly what the Eagles needed. An easy game at home against rubbish opposition to play their stars back into form. Kennedy to kick plenty and Naitanui to gather heaps of it in his first game back. Eagles by 54 points.

Yes, this review has come several weeks after Girls finished up its second season. The reason for this delay is I gave up on Girls’ second season after episode seven, and only ended up watching the remaining three episodes because my housemate kept bugging me about it. Also, I love Ray.

And Ray hates everything.

I was also a little reluctant to add to the white noise surrounding Girls out here on the internet, with discussions on everything ranging from what’s wrong with our generation to Lena Dunham’s butt. So I’ll just write this once, and be done with it, because I won’t be returning for season three.

I can’t pinpoint the exact moment when Girls jumped the shark for me, but (and I’m perhaps unfairly picking on Dunham here – there are other writers, but she’s the show runner, it’s her baby) – it was around the point when Dunham was overwhelmed by the hype surrounding her show and confused the importance of character with that of abstract themes and social commentary. And unlike the way a mishmash of themes and plots is done in Banshee, (it’s a heist show! it’s a cop show! it’s a gangster show! let’s do all those things because they’re fun!) in Girls this ambition just makes it contrived, and rather tedious.

When Girls debuted, it knew what sort of show it was, and what it was rang true for a lot of the twenty-somethings watching it. Being in your early twenties is hard – trying to figure out what to do after uni (if you went at all), how to make money, where to live, how to negotiate relationships and friendships and all the while being bombarded with lifestuff. Girls initially set itself up as a show that was going to deal with that. The very opening scene has Hannah (Dunham) being cut off financially from her parents. Foolishly, we as viewers believed that this would actually be part of the plot.

Apparently not. I don’t know what world Hannah is living in where she can get away with not working, not having financial support from her parents, and still pay rent – but I want in.

Season one dealt with it somewhat – Marnie apparently covered Hannah financially while she searched for a job she could hold down for more than two minutes – but when Marnie moves out, it’s simply never addressed again. Eventually Hannah gets another roommate, who also moves out, we rarely if ever see her working at her shitty café job…so just where is the money coming from?

The reason I harp on about this is because it’s indicative of the endemic problems in Girls season two. We’re no longer dealing with characters we can relate to, trying to negotiate their early twenties while being witty and entertaining, no: now we’re dealing with increasingly bizarre situations involving characters with whom we have little emotional investment. Hannah herself is disengaged from her life – in order to “experience” things as a “writer” – so how are we supposed to engage with her either? Even her friends – with the exception of Shosh, who is the one patch of warmth in this show – hold very little affection for one another now. Jessa was always selfish and didn’t make her friendships a priority, but now none of them do. One character with that flaw still makes for good television; four central characters with that as a defining characteristic makes for tedious, unengaging storytelling.

My breaking point for this was episode seven, where Hannah follows Jessa to meet her father, but again, appears only to do so for some “abstract experience” (in this case sleeping with a strange teenage boy), and certainly not out of any desire to support her friend. And that, fundamentally, is the issue: Lena Dunham has underestimated just how unlikeable she’s made her protagonist. This is a serious problem.

In season one, Hannah was irritating, sure – she was self-entitled, spoiled, made questionable decisions – but she at least exhibited some redeeming features. We understood her warped-yet-occasionally-sweet relationship with Adam. We understood her terrible self esteem wrapped up in early-twenties egotism. And, while neither I nor any of my girl friends have ever bathed together (what was that?!) – Hannah’s friendships with Marnie, Jessa and Shosh at least provided an emotional grounding for the show. Marnie, Hannah and Shosh waited for Jessa at the abortion clinic with ill-advised cupcakes, even if Jessa herself was more interested in self-destructing over a white Russian cocktail.

The distinct lack of this kind of cohesion is what made season two such a hard slog to watch. The rare moments of character engagement really shone – whether it was Hannah and Elijah duking it out over his ill-advised sexual decisions, Jessa and Thomas’ brilliant break-up scene, or Shosh and Ray heartbreakingly trying to negotiate a relationship that really wasn’t working. Even Hannah’s desperate, pissed-off call to Jessa’s voicemail gave us a sign of what the show could have been, if we’d been given a reason to care about what happens to these characters now. (I do still love Ray, and Shosh, but that’s not enough to keep me tuned in). Finally, the ending that my housemate raved about, which made me reluctantly watch the end of the season, was sweet – but it’s not a pay-off if we’ve suffered through nine episodes of Hannah’s never-ending selfishness, and then are supposed to feel for her at the end.

Tomorrow will mark the first student general meeting in several decades for Monash University’s Clayton Campus. The meeting will address the controversial cuts being made to university budgets around the country. As a student of politics and history at the aforementioned campus I can proudly say that I will not be attending.

It’s not that I am apathetic about the cuts to university funding, no liberal democratic government who claims to have the best interests of its people and their future at heart should be taking money away from education at any level, even if it is supposedly aimed at propping up another area of the education system. The idiocy and short-sightedness of what the government is currently doing should be obvious to any cognisant person.

So why am I not standing shoulder-to-shoulder with my down-trodden fellow students to demand an end to the governments jack-booted tyranny? Because the people who organise these meetings, who take it upon themselves to represent us as a student body, would not see any hint of hyperbole in the previous sentence. These are the people who have been protesting against the instillation of security cameras, not on the entire campus but in a formerly cooperative vegan restaurant for almost a year, to no affect other than convincing me that they must be doing something seriously illegal in the back-room. Why would you possibly be against security cameras? If you’re not doing anything wrong you have nothing to worry about, and if the university really uses them to monitor your “subversive activities” or steal your lentil curry recipes, take them to court like grown-ups. If I was ever happy with these people representing my views, that time was ever so many lecture-interrupting rants, patronising flyers and pointless election campaigns ago.

The paranoid, self-obsessed, hyper-sensitive mutterings of the student political movement are as constant as they are detached from the life of the average student, or the plane of reality that student inhabits.Their presence in important political debates such as this one removes student support and lends the entire exercise the same sense of entirely futile effort that accompanies an intervention for Lindsay Lohan. If they manage to round up the 300 students required to form quorum tomorrow then power to them, but given the 40-strong attendance of this morning’s storming of the university admin building, I don’t think I’m putting myself out on a limb when I promise to greet such an event by digesting my hat.